I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
