Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
birth control should be required to get into college
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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