I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
