i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
