I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
