STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
