highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
