Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
People in love make me want to vomit
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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