yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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