I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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