Dual....:-)
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
