he wants to bone in the snuggie
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
