you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
