Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
