And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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