That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
