Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize