While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
