I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
