Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
