STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
