Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
