Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
