none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
