So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
