Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
