Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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