I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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