i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
