he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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