He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
