I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize
