my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
