sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
where does the pee come out of this thing
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
