My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
