Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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