i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
