I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
