What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
