his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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