This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
