my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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