you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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