Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
