we're blogging at a bar
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
