It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
