i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
