Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
