Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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