my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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