can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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