omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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