i already hear my dad disowning me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
