awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You smell like stripper and shame
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
