I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
