Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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