The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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