i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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