Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
