i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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