I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
