she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
