the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
