he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
